As you all know, my mom and I work together in the office and, every now and then, mom says things that just crack me up. Today, this happened twice.
Mom, to my dismay, has gotten sucked into the Fifty Shades of Grey “trilogy.” This has resulted in her mind being in the gutter just a wee bit. We were going over a repair request list I had typed up for her and she starts giggling. The inspector calls the heat resistant base below a water heater the “hot bottom.”
Mom: I am not sure about this “hot bottom” being on a repair request.
Me: That’s what the inspector called it. But I can try to change the wording.
Mom: Yeah, let’s do that. “Hot bottom” sounds a little dirty. Especially after reading those Fifty Shades books Saturday.
(We both start giggling like 5 year olds who just heard the word butt for the first time)
The next incident happened only moments ago. Mom comes into the office huffing over something.
Mom: Some people just don’t raise their kids right.
Me: What’s wrong?
Mom: I just left the bathroom and the toilet paper roll was out AND the paper towels were out.
Me: (getting quiet and sucking my lips in because I was the last one in the bathroom, trying not to smile or laugh)
The woman was genuinely mad.
Mom: I just can’t believe the nerve of some people. Morgan, you better not raise your kids not to replace the toilet paper-what?
Me: (very quiet)
Mom: Don’t tell me it was you???
Me: It…was me.
Mom: Oh, Morgan. That is just…just LAZY! (I am about to burst from trying not to laugh) Don’t you roll your eyes at me! That is awful!!!
She loses her straight face and starts laughing a little bit. Happy Wednesday, ya’ll!