Hey everyone! Sorry for the long absence…even now I am fielding messages from a close friend of mine who is mad at me for not picking up his calls. No, I did not go out and buy supplies and get my bunker ready. Though the end of the world was nigh, according to some cult followers, I was actually out getting things done for Christmas. The end of the world would have been bad, but facing Christmas with no gifts to give my family would have been soooo much worse. So, that’s where I’ve been.
This whole end of the world thing actually took more precedence in my life than it ever should have now that I am here on the day that we were all supposed to go down in burning flames from the megavolcano exploding/drowning from massive tidal waves/falling into gaping cracks in the earth’s crust as the world tremored from quakes/freezing in the new-come Ice Age/disintegrating from an asteroid or planet colliding with us. Yes, I put a lot of thought into this. In fact, the whole debacle started when I was the tender age of 12 during summer break. I was flipping through the networks and got caught up in a History Channel special called “2012.” If you know absolutely NOTHING about the “Mayan Apocolypse,” you’ve probably been living under a rock for the past few years. This phenonmenon has been ingrained in pop culture from Brittany Spears music videos to an actual John Cusack film. But to fill you in, the Mayan calendar ends today. The symbolism from the calendar has been under the scrutiny of archaeologists, historians, and anthropologists for at least the past 20 years. Of course, this gave doomsday sayers something to fret over. And give the television stations something to bring ratings up. Now, imagine being 12 years old, highly impressionable and being told that your life was going to end at 24, really before it even began. Yes, I was scarred. It’s no secret anxiety and depression run in my family. Soon, I was not able to sleep at night because I was too busy freaking out about what I was going to do with these last 12 years of my life. I had panic attacks that could strike at any time, even during class. I was seriously a wreck for 7 years of my life. Once I got into college, I specifically remember yelling at my roommate Theresa for watching the History Channel while one of the “end of the world” specials was on. I dissolved into tears and admitted to myself that I seriously needed help. I began seeing a therapist at my college, and she gave me great tips about anxiety attacks, and, for the most part, I was able to control them after that. But I would sometimes still find myself in Caitlyn, my other roommate’s, room with her stroking my hair and calming me down after one of my episodes. She was amazing for dealing with that, and I never got to tell her how much I appreciated it.
Around this time, I began working night shift at my residence hall. I had a ton of free time, and my boyfriend at the time suggested I watch a little show called Doctor Who, a British sci-fi show about a time lord who travels through space and time to save the world from total destruction. I began with the “ninth” doctor Chris Ecleston. I was hooked on the show from the very first episode. During this season, The Doctor takes his companion Rose to “The End of the World,” which, in actuality, really is the end of the world: when the sun supernovas and engulfs the entire planet millions of years from now. Watching this episode, I honestly thought that my anxiety attacks were well on their way. The total opposite occurred…I felt calm and secure in knowing that I was probably never going to have to see the total destruction of our planet. And ‘lo and behold the anxiety attacks went away. I literally haven’t had one in over a year! So, thank you Doctor Who for saving my life.
My original plan for the “End of the World” was this. Now, mind you, I was twelve when I came up with this idea, so it really holds no water at this point. I was going to take my husband (I seriously thought I’d be married by now) and drive to my parents house and we were going to camp out together in a bunker I was going to dig out in our back yard until this whole thing blew over.
Now, here’s what actually happened. Yesterday, Tim and I stayed in his room working on a Christmas gift for someone in my life. Sadly, nothing was synching up and we decided to take a long break from the project and head up to Charlotte. I had bought a Zumba DVD set from a friend of mine, and I needed to meet up with her to pick it up. Tim joked about how senseless this pick up was since the world was indeed ending today, and what was the point? After the drop-off, we headed over to Manifest Records on South Boulevard and took care of some obligatory Christmas shopping. While there, I found the single most awesome tee-shirt in existance.
Yes, be jealous. I am wearing it to work today. It is comfy, but I am also well prepared for the Tardis to get me at any moment. Tim saw me eyeing a Tardis themed stocking and presented it to me in the car. Yes, everyone go Awwww, he is a sweetheart. I also found this lovely throwback from the ’60’s or 70’s that just made me giggle. At only $5, I really should have brought it home with me, but let’s be real here. I am about as sexy as a baby squirrel and twice as awkward.
Afterwards, we headed up to Maggiano’s at South Park, and had our “final meal.” Tim was originally craving a McRib but then told me that if the world did go up in flames and he was at the pearly gates, he hardly wanted to reveal to God and his angels that the last thing he ate was a McRib. So, we did it up big. We had the stuffed mushrooms for an appetizer, he had the alfredo and I had the spaghetti for the entree, and we finished it off with an apple fritter of sorts. Soooo very good. Because, if the world was going to end, we really didn’t have to worry about cholesterol. Afterwards, I dropped my food-coma’d boyfriend at his house and I likewise passed out. This morning, I woke up to my alarm going off for me to get up and excercise. The world was not over and that great food I had last night was threatening to go straight to my thighs.
In my life, when it came to the final days, leading up to today, I never thought I would be this happy with my life. I honestly thought I would be a basket case today. But as I looked at my handsome boyfriend in one of my favorite restaurants in the world, I held his hand and let him know that even if the world ended today, I was going to die the happiest girl in the world. It occured to me not so long ago, that I wasn’t really afraid of the world ending. I was more afraid of living a life that was void of ambition, love, and true happiness. Now, my life is far from perfect, but I am so thankful for it. Have I done everything I ever wanted to do? No. But as far as opportunities go, as far as the choices I’ve made go, I have truly lived my life to the fullest each day.
Now, I have a special gift for my dad to complete. I am off everyone. Allons-y! And enjoy this lovely video that is simply a treat on a day like today.
How did you feel about December 21, 2012? Were you apprehensive, scared, or did you just not care? I would love to hear about it! Happy The Doctor Did It Day!