Monday night I was at Wild Wing Cafe with Tim and he had to help his coworker set up. I took to Facebook on my phone and one of my FB buddies shared a most compelling post: Why Diamonds are a Sham. You can read the entire article by clicking on the link but it really had some great points in it. Mainly when a couple is starting out their lives together, why in the world should the guy be obligated to shell out $2000+ for a craptastic (excuse my French and fun fact, my auto correct tried to change craptastic to capitalistic. Coincidence? I think not), not even that rare rock. And I think I just lost half of my subscribers but bear with me.
I have never really wanted a diamond ring. No really, I haven’t. The only diamond I value belonged to my Nana. It’s teeny by today’s standards but my love for it has nothing to do with the cut or the clarity. It’s because it belonged to her. And this is what I just don’t get. It’s a lot to ask of a guy, the man that you love, to buy you something so useless to signify his self worth and love for you when he could really be putting that money towards a house for you to grow into, your retirement funds for when the two get old , even your honeymoon is a tad bit more practical (not by much but those are memories for the two of you). It’s just not fair! Poor men, and this is probably one of the few times I will ever take pity on the opposite sex, have it hard when it comes to proposing. Just think of the unbelievable pressure of picking out the perfect ring for their budget, presenting it to the girl of their dreams, and then possibly getting shot down because the rock wasn’t big enough. Obviously he doesn’t love you girl; he can’t even bring himself to buy you a full carat. Dump him! Of course, this is a crazy dramatization but most people have been brainwashed to believe the bigger the diamond, the more he loves you. You know who did the brainwashing? In the article, the writer alludes to the company that stands to make the most profit from the brainwashing: jewelry stores. It’s no secret they mark up their stuff 100-200%. You can read more about it in the article but believe it or not, there was a time when people had some sense and thought diamond engagement rings were impractical. Not many people cared to buy them. So the jewelry stores came up with an ingenious marketing strategy: diamonds are forever. And they got celebrity endorsement. The next thing you know, EVERYONE HAS TO HAVE A DIAMOND! And this trend has stuck. I can’t go a day without hearing yet another commercial about finding that perfect ring to “show her how much you care.” Really? Show me you care by giving me a hug, making me dinner, letting me watch my favorite movie, and then making me coffee the next morning. Be the awesome man you need to be and you will never have to show you care with an overpriced stone.
Let me take a step back really quick before I lose my entire readership. Girls, I know the pressure for you is high too. Whenever you get engaged, the first thing friends and family ask for is the ring. Right? “Ooooo, show me the ring.” You have big shoes to fill from generations of brainwashing. You want to impress your friends and family with how awesome your guy is by showing the ring off a little. I get it. Part of me relishes the thought, as well. It’s our time in the spotlight. However, if you set up the expectation you will receive a diamond upon engagement and the money just isn’t there you will have to settle for something less extravagant than what you hoped for. And then your friends might pull the “you don’t want a big ring anyway” bit. But deep down you have a feeling they are unimpressed and think your new fiance is a cheapskate. But it’s not your fault if you want or have a diamond ring already.
BUT GIRLS, STOP AND ASK YOURSELVES REALLY QUICK: DO I WANT THE DIAMOND BECAUSE I AM MAKING THAT CHOICE OR DO I WANT THE DIAMOND BECAUSE EVERYONE EXPECTS ME TO GET ONE?
Tough question to answer, right? Even with me not REALLY wanting a diamond there is a part of me who dreams about that stupid robin’s egg blue Tiffany box. And it’s because I was taught that a diamond ring was the epitome of romance and class. It meant that I had made it as a woman in the world, found the love of my life, and was going to ride off in the sunset.
I even was going to compromise with my girly whims by hunting down a gorgeous moissanite imitation diamond ring (which part of me still desperately wants). Compared to a diamond ring, it was about $2000 less expensive. But the ring itself was still a little pricy. I don’t ever want to have to ask my future husband to buy me a still overly expensive piece of jewelry to seal the deal. What I really want is just to be asked. A sincere, I love you; marry me. Then he can take the money that he didn’t spend on the ring and put it towards our future together. Rings get lost, time ages them, but true love doesn’t need a token to be validated.
Do you agree or disagree? Keep the comments polite. No bickering.